How can I build my ‘baby confidence’?

Imagine if you could have all the confidence you get from surviving the most incredible, life changing event in your life before the event happened?

What if you never had to deal with adversity to find your inner strength?  What if you could do so while you were safe and cosy in current life? What if you didn’t have to have a life altering experience to find your true potential but had the strength to do so before your life got out of control?

Most women say birth is the most scary and incredible thing in their lives (me too!) However, I know personally that with big risks come monumental rewards. Birthing my two children changed my confidence and self esteem radically. But what if you could give that confidence to a mum before birth so she was armed with the resources to thrive in this situation rather than flounder?

Is it really possible? Yes! With birth coaching we spend a lot of time going over what it is you want to achieve/get out of your birth journey as a person. Not just a parent.

This is what I do with my clients and you can too…

Identify your fears.

  • Say them out loud. Own them. Use the words. Imagine the scenario. Really let it out. Most of us keep our deepest fears only just hidden below the surface. We leave them there, worried we might forget them but also making sure they’re not too close to the surface in case we accidentally share them.   We worry people will judge us for them.  Get them out. The moment you release them, their power becomes weak.

Take a really good look in the mirror.

  • Get in touch with your dark side. What is it about yourself that you would work on if you could? I’ll let you into a little secret, no one is perfect. Most of us can list loads and loads of things we would like to change about our physical features.  However, I think we should be asking what about our personalities and sense of self doesn’t sit well with us? Are you controlling, a flake, a little girl who doesn’t want to grow up? If we’re going to heal, we need to find out what we really want to change. Once we know what in our soul we want to work on (I believe everyone deep down already knows this… and it’s usually only one or at the very most, two things) then we can work on growth.

Don’t blame anyone for you not being your best self.  

  • “But this happened…. and this…!” Yip, I’ve had rough stuff happen in my life too. We all have. Unfortunately life is not fair, or just, or easy. But absolutely everything that has happened to you in the past has gone, it’s stopped.  Otherwise it would be in your present and that’s what we CAN control. Don’t let what hurt you before keep hurting you. Let it go.

Realise that growth takes time… and patience.

  • Cultivating a better you, not the perfect person, takes a long time. It’s about when you choose to start the journey not how long it will take.  You’re human. It’s how we learn.  One step forward, two back.

Find role models and ask them how they do it.

  • was never very good with routine so I asked, and continue to ask, those around me for the buy in. What about routine do they love. I now know not all of my life needs to be set in stone but that routines make life easier and more straight forward. Not every one of my decisions has to be new. It takes up too much energy. I leave that for the big stuff.

Celebrate your growth.

  • When you do something new whether it be starting to exercise, breaking an old thought pattern or starting a new positive ritual even if it’s not perfect or not for as long as you thought or not as good as you thought don’t discount the fact that you actually did it. The success is in the doing not the end product. Every day I do yoga in the morning I congratulate myself. No strings attached. Not only if I have done it for 30 mins or not if only I complete a routine but for doing yoga, that’s it.

Open up.

  • Everyone is on a journey but some don’t know if they have started it or not. Some want to start it but don’t know how and some are just that little bit further along than you. When we start to share our ‘real’ selves with others we learn and connect. Our flaws and imperfections are what make us unique, not unworthy. Take the plunge, share something deep with someone you trust and see what happens.

If you want to know more about finding your inner confidence on your birth journey, get in touch at http://www.thefirstcuddle.com/ or email us at Thefirstcuddle@yahoo.com

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