Said no one… ever.
So who does want to be a birth coach? Me!
I have always been interested in more alternative forms of healing and how to integrate these with mainstream medical practices. I lost 3 close family members to cancer, stroke and heart disease in my teenage years and saw a lot of the inside of a hospital. I also grew up on an island off the coast of New Zealand and had what some may call a pretty ‘hippie’ upbringing. So when it came time for me to embark on my own baby journey, I called on anything and everything I knew for guidance. However, sometimes somethings aren’t meant to be and early on my first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage. No first cuddle.
It was then that I had an epiphany. It was up to me to find out what I wanted from my fertility and to go and get it. For me, a baby was not going to land in my lap. This didn’t mean just one approach and it didn’t mean using all of the tools available. I found out what I needed to – I did some (actually quite a lot of..) googling, listening, reading, role playing and affirming but in the end I knew that my pregnancy, birth and the type of first cuddle I was going to have with my new baby was down to what suited me best. I studied my body, I learned what a ‘normal’ month for me and my body was. I sorted out my diet and got serious about wellbeing. I took vitamins and supplements that suited my needs.
It felt good. I picked and chose advice and strategies that I liked and fitted with me. In all honesty I probably become a little obsessive about fertility, birth and babies. I did what made me feel good and left out what didn’t. It gave me confidence and strength. Towards the end of my pregnancy I was the most empowered I have ever felt in my entire life as a woman. When it came time deliver my first baby 5 days early, the midwife commented to my partner, “She’s really strong. She’s in control.” Second time round when I was 5 days overdue and being offered all the usual solutions to this supposed problem, I replied, “I’ve got this.” And I did. My son arrived the next day.
My approach was using the best of both holistic and medical information which helped me to feel comfortable however my babies arrived. Often parents are made to feel they have to embrace one approach of birthing at the cost of rejecting other really helpful strategies and tools. I felt free to take any tools I needed into my birth and it was to my benefit. Both of my magnificent births didn’t go exactly according to plan. All was not lost though! This was due to my own preparation and using the best of a range of approaches available. Minor set backs to my original plan didn’t phase me. Both of the first cuddles I had with my children were perfect… for me.
So what was my secret? Was my vagina better than someone else’s and that meant my births were (and still are) a source of confidence and joy in my life? Did I have a huge support network behind the scenes whom I could rely on at the drop of a hat for my every need and want? (For the record… All of my close family live on the other side of the world). None of the above. I just knew what I wanted to how to get it. I got honest with myself and reaped the rich rewards that having a positive birth experience can offer. Do you want to too? Check out www.thefirstcuddle.com to make a taster session booking.